I'm Goin' Places. How INCREDIBLY cheesy.

Oh, my. So. A LOT OF STUFF IS GOING ON! Not like, earth-shattering stuff, but all the little stuff that accumulates on the carpet of your brain-floor and then suddenly you can't walk around without stepping on a plastic dinosaur and WHY are there plastic dinosaurs on my brain floor? This metaphor got lost. I must consult my mind grapes. Is anyone reading this anymore?
Here's whats on the carpet.1) I got a new job, at a QUILT STORE! This means I get paid to cut, fold, fondle, and recommend fabric. Obviously, it's a big stretch for me. I wish I had pictures, but I keep forgetting to take my camera in, and also because I fear I will be mocked for takin pictures of my workplace for my blaaaaag. If you live in the KC area, though, you should totally stop by Harper's sometime, because I might be there, and I would probably creep you out with my fabric lust. Funzers? It's great because the people I work with are amazing, and I LOOK FORWARD to going in to work! Also, I get to take the store's classes, so I am going to begin to refine my "technique". It is in quotes because I have none, I am definitely of the SLAP IT TOGETHAH! WITH LOTSA THREAD! school of quilting. But skillz, I will soon have you!2) Cherri House came to Kansas City, and it was So Very Awesome. I was lucky enough to get to have dinner with her on the fist night, see her guild presentation, and then take her workshop the next day. She gave an amazing presentation to the KCMQG, and is just so so so nice, and her work is totally inspirational. The City News workshop was great, the block is really fun and pretty easy to do, now I just have to finish putting it together...3) I am having a little sale in the etsy shop, some totes marked down to $16, which is le cheap. Also, I am super close to 700 sales, so number 700 will get a little something extra!
4) And this is the biggie... I'm leaving for Fall Quilt Market on Thursday! I am super super super excited to hobnob with all of the fabric folks who are my idols, soak in the quilty atmosphere, and, of course, GO TO SAMPLE SPREE. (Hence the etsy sale, frinds.) Drooling about sample spree, and also drooling about CAKE PARTY! I have decided that I will force Lizzy House to be my friend, that's not creepy at all, is it? (Answer: it is.) I'm not sure I've ever been so excited about a trip as I am about this one. (Ok, my honeymoon probably, whatevs.) Who else will be there? WHO? Wanna hang out?5) I'm going to market, so I HAD to make a new bag, right? And what's better than a little blatant self-promotion? I made this bag (Amy Butler's Birdie Sling) in 3 hours, which was highly impressive to me. Of course, I cheated because I used upholstery fabric and so I didn't have to interface anything. The boat fabric is printed on Spoonflower's upholstery weight twill, which is pretty much pure heaven. And the pattern is so easy and fun that even I, the total pattern-fail, could do it, with NO MAJOR TEAR-INDUCING mistakes, AND I started the project after 10:00 pm! Things started at that time of night RARELY end well, but this one was a snap. Oh, the hubris, I am sure the next thing I sew will be an absolute disaster after this paragraph, look forward to my next post being whiny and sad. But for now, I am triumphant! Victoire!
6) A random girl at the city market yesterday told me that my hair was pretty. This has NEVER in my LIFE happened. I am sorry haircut, that I so wronged you. I miss the ponytail, but you have served me well. I am a whiny whiny jerk for crying so long. I'm sorry. Forgive me, follicles, for my sins against you.
7) These quilt blocks? I am in love. I might be biased, but I think they're like the best ones ever. Also, look how nicely bikes play with castle peeps? Another reason why Lizzy and I should be friends. Just sayin'.

I Think I Actually Sewed Something?

Like, something that was not a tote bag or a kleenex holder or whatever other stuff I sew so often that it no longer feels like sewing. Or, well, no, it still feels like SEWING when I am making 20 tote bags, but it feels like I am sewing in my robot-body. My robot-body can make totes all afternoon, and never have to think a bit. What was the point? Oh, I sewed something! Act impressed, and try and forget that the point of this blog was supposed to be about me sewing things frequently. Ahem.This was just a little sew-as-you-go project I made with some of ye olde scraps. It ended up feeling rather fallish, and functions beautifully as a mouse pad. A mouse pad large enough to be used as a coaster at the same time. Nothing could ever go wrong in the scenario where you keep you giant plastic tea sippy cup on your mouse pad, right? Right.
Tomorrow the fabulous Cherri House (mother of Lizzy House) comes into town to speak at the KC Modern Quilt Guild and then give a workshop, and I will be in attendance at both, so that is super exciting, and if you live around the KC area you might consider checking it out. Tomorrow's guild meeting is from 7-9 at the Roeland Park Community Center, and costs $5 for non-guild members, email me with any questions! And here is a stack of fabric for my Castle Peeps Quilt (in progress) in honor of the House laydeez. Holla.

You Are THE BEST.

Ok, everyone with a hair story, you are the best. I should explain that on the day of my hair tragedy, I hadn't bothered to eat yet, (It was about 3:00 when it happened,) and that might have contributed to the meltdown. Also, styling products can be used for good or evil, but most every salon I've ever been to has used them for evil. I guess I just like my hair exceptionally flat and unpoofed, and that is at odds with the salon worldview. THE POINT BEING, the haircut, it turns out, is not all THAT bad. It's just not what I wanted. And man, letting go of that hard-won ponytail... Well, I can think of it without tearing up now, but I'd rather not dwell on it.
The stories though? They made my day. And my week. And maybe my month, because they are HILARIOUS. Have you ever wondered, gee, is Lauren a person who likes to laugh at other's pain? (You've SO never wondered that.) But the answer is a resounding YES. I live to laugh at other's pain, as long as they are laughing too, an it's not pain from, like, cancer. So the stories were just what I needed. Along with a bowl of Spaghetti-o's (yeah, judge me.), and a Hershey's Cookie's and Creme bar, and later that evening, tea with Alex. Do you know Alex, interweb friends? She is a million times the quilty-person I will ever be, and she makes awesome tutorials so you can be cool like her, too. Also, she is good to have tea with and knows lots about books. But I have gotten distracted.
So, as a token of my appreciation for your hair-pain, and your sharing of that pain, I am going to pick someone from the hair comments and they will receive a fat quarter of...The HAIR-RAISING (ha! I segue!) new HALLOWEEN BIRDIES! This is just a little side-project I've been working on, and I'm so happy to have it out there for any Halloween projects you might have! (Seriously, waiting on the proofs for this just about killed me!) This fabric is ONLY available through my shop on Spoonflower, and comes in 5 colors, Ghoulish Gray, Ghastly Green, Boo Blue, Scary Berry, and Perfect Pumpkin. I just made those color names up, and it was fun. And now, GRATUITOUS BIRDIE PICS!
I printed swatches to test out the colors- the actual design has many more birdies than are shown on these pieces, like...Wizard birdie!Flapper birdie hearts football birdie...Ooh-la-la birdie.Groucho birdie, one of my favorites.Cat bird, Freddie Kruger of the bird-costume world.And the winner is... Jen Peterson! Your pain has made you one fat quarter richer! Please send me an email with your address and your color choice and I will send it out to you!